Comments on: Whose Responsibility Is Reponsibility? http://www.parentalinstincts.com/whose-responsibility-is-reponsibility/ Wed, 12 Aug 2009 05:21:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: The Mother http://www.parentalinstincts.com/whose-responsibility-is-reponsibility/comment-page-1/#comment-97 The Mother Fri, 01 May 2009 01:48:08 +0000 http://www.parentalinstincts.com/?p=105#comment-97 First of all, I strongly recommend that you get your daughter tested for dysgraphia. Especially with the history of visual problems, which tend to be associated. If she does have dysgraphia, it may actually not be her fault. And the school is required to make accommodations, and the teacher will be forced to spend a little more time evaluating her work. Also, having been put through a few billion MRIs, I can tell you how hard it is to keep still for a long period of time, especially when there is noise involved. Maybe your daughter didn't really misbehave as much as you think. Ask her if she had a headache--perhaps a prophylactic dose of Advil or Tylenol might help next time? That said, I'm a firm believer in draconian responsibility. I will not rescue my kids when their irresponsible behavior gets them in trouble. The world won't rescue them when they're older. I will punish, I will push, I will remove privileges and I will reward them when they get it right. Your daughter needs to understand that you will not accept her pushing her errors off on other people. But I will also go to bat for them when the school system is railroading them and when the world is giving them inappropriate grief. First of all, I strongly recommend that you get your daughter tested for dysgraphia. Especially with the history of visual problems, which tend to be associated. If she does have dysgraphia, it may actually not be her fault. And the school is required to make accommodations, and the teacher will be forced to spend a little more time evaluating her work.

Also, having been put through a few billion MRIs, I can tell you how hard it is to keep still for a long period of time, especially when there is noise involved. Maybe your daughter didn’t really misbehave as much as you think. Ask her if she had a headache–perhaps a prophylactic dose of Advil or Tylenol might help next time?

That said, I’m a firm believer in draconian responsibility. I will not rescue my kids when their irresponsible behavior gets them in trouble. The world won’t rescue them when they’re older. I will punish, I will push, I will remove privileges and I will reward them when they get it right.

Your daughter needs to understand that you will not accept her pushing her errors off on other people.

But I will also go to bat for them when the school system is railroading them and when the world is giving them inappropriate grief.

]]> By: Ari http://www.parentalinstincts.com/whose-responsibility-is-reponsibility/comment-page-1/#comment-95 Ari Sat, 25 Apr 2009 18:42:57 +0000 http://www.parentalinstincts.com/?p=105#comment-95 Wow, the video tape idea is intriguing ... have to think long and hard before using that one, but it might well be effective. Thanks for the comment and for stopping by. Wow, the video tape idea is intriguing … have to think long and hard before using that one, but it might well be effective.

Thanks for the comment and for stopping by.

]]> By: Half-Past Kissin' Time http://www.parentalinstincts.com/whose-responsibility-is-reponsibility/comment-page-1/#comment-94 Half-Past Kissin' Time Sat, 25 Apr 2009 17:30:38 +0000 http://www.parentalinstincts.com/?p=105#comment-94 Boy, that's a tough one. As a teacher of students with emotional/behavioral disabilities, I see this quite often, and I struggle to find the answer myself. I think it comes from insecurity. Maybe look at that? Is there a reason she feels so insecure that she cannot admit to any weakness or mistake? Maybe, too, you could work really hard to positively reinforce anything resembling her taking responsibility for her actions? Another thing you could do (carefully) is video tape her behavior (without her knowledge) and then gently show it to her, but you'd have to do this in a very kind, non-judgemental way and let her draw the conclusions. Good luck. Boy, that’s a tough one. As a teacher of students with emotional/behavioral disabilities, I see this quite often, and I struggle to find the answer myself. I think it comes from insecurity. Maybe look at that? Is there a reason she feels so insecure that she cannot admit to any weakness or mistake? Maybe, too, you could work really hard to positively reinforce anything resembling her taking responsibility for her actions? Another thing you could do (carefully) is video tape her behavior (without her knowledge) and then gently show it to her, but you’d have to do this in a very kind, non-judgemental way and let her draw the conclusions. Good luck.

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