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When Does The Tooth Fairy Stop Being Real?
Our eleven year old just lost his tooth, on his birthday as it happens. As a result, he woke up this morning to discover that the tooth under his pillow had disappeared, and there were eleven coins in its place (no, not eleven dollars … The tooth fairy in our house certainly isn’t that generous). He came downstairs to breakfast and clearly wanted to test the waters about this.
So, bold as brass, he comes up and says “Hey, thanks for the money!” I was just about to respond politely “You’re Welcome” when I caught myself and said “What money? I haven’t got any money … I’m broke!”
There was a pause, and then he explained to me about the money, and said his tooth was feeling better now after bleeding a little last night. A couple of minutes later his younger sister wandered in and asked how much he got from the tooth fairy so he repeated the story, now quite comfortable with playing along with her belief in the tooth fairy.
So this morning I’ve been thinking about holding onto beliefs, and letting go of them. I don’t like the idea that children should be disabused of their beliefs as soon as possible, whether from a wish to “toughen them up” or from a misguided sense of wanting to tell them the truth.
We all need to hold onto ideals, beliefs, dreams, and even fantasies. Of course, at some point in our lives we need to move on from thoughts of what might have been; a college romance, a job that didn’t pan out well, or a dream of playing in the Super Bowl. If those dreams prevent us from living in the moment, prevent us from building a life with the materials in front of us, then they’re unhealthy.
But a belief in the world as a better place … a place where we’re safe from harm, where we can grow and flourish at our own pace, and where the tooth fairy leaves a gift under our pillow … is a belief that’s worth holding onto.
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11 Responses to “When Does The Tooth Fairy Stop Being Real?”
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I agree that the belief in a better world is something to be cherished!
I find that it’s often other children that force me to tell the truth about mythical figures like the tooth ferry and Santa Clause, because they say to my kids that they’re not real.
I liked the tooth fairy too!
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I hear that fostering imagination and creativity is important in rearing children. Instilling dreams and hopes are essential in protecting a child’s innocence. I guess realism is for adults…or children who have figured out that Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy don’t exist…or at least they exist in the form of parents.
Davida
it’s good to have this fantasy and game with kids. They will find out eventually on their own and there is no harm done, i think.
This issue came up several months ago in our household. My 8-year-old son is the youngest of the cousins/grandchildren, and was starting to question the existence of Santa and the Tooth Fairy. When he lost a tooth a few months ago, he asked me point-blank about it. I decided to tell him the truth–I had been thinking about it and really didn’t want him to hear confirmation from someone else. I felt like it would then be too easy for him to decide that my husband and I had lied to him. I explained that Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, are all joyous and delightful “games” that all parents look forward to playing with their children. He is now quite content with the “secret”, and careful not to spill the beans around younger children!
I think it’s important to allow children’s imaginations to grow and flourish – including the belief in Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Like another commenter noted, it’s a form of protecting a child’s ‘innocence’. Soon enough they’ll be at an age where the ‘older’ kids will spill the beans and at that point, when my child asks me point blank, I will be honest with her. But you can still continue the ‘magic’ by saying that Santa has so many people to worry about, he’s enlisted some of the parents to be his ‘helpers’. Same goes with the Tooth Fairy. For me, I’m certainly going to enjoy these young years with my daughter – it’s like I’ve been allowed to ‘rediscover’ the magic through her eyes.
how cute is that…and I’m there with you…there is a certain amount of peace…with having these innocent beliefs…heck if it was a 20 year old who still believed in Santa…all the better…why not…
It’s gotten to the point where I feel like I’m lying to my 8 year old about Santa and the Tooth Fairy. I’m not ready for the magic to end, but I think it’s almost time.
Perhaps she stops being real when Santa stops being real?
Is there an expiration date on tooth fairies, santa’s and the like?
I dont really know what is this tooth fairy story but i like it, i also heard that story from different people but never experienced that coz here in the phils instead of tooth fairy we refer to mouse instead. they beleive that a mouse having a sharp and white teeth could possbly give a child a tooth like theirs!
For my kids, when they ask if Santa and the Tooth Fairy are real, I respond that I believe, which is true. I believe in the magic of the spirit of giving and the joy of pure magic from these fantastical characters that enrich our lives as children and can continue to bring magical moments to our often too grownup lives as well. I can explain believing in the spirit of something and carrying on traditions from my ancestors easier than trying to explain falsehoods. I owe my children honesty and try to abide by that.